Asking without shame

Something I'm practicing, and this was incredibly inspiring and came into my life at the exact right time:

An 8-Foot-Tall Woman Is Destroying The Entire Music Industry

As for me, as I continue to spend my nights in the small spare room at the Household as Ecology, surrounded by boxes that have their contents marked by such labels as "Current Unfolding Knowledge", being able to sit on my bed and look through two doors and hundreds of books into the kitchen, the central hub of the world and work as it unfolds at this time, knowing this room in this hosue is where I want to be right now, in completely new territory, the white walls reflecting the simplicity of my experience, the rawness of my experience, the spartan presence of just being here, vulnerable, in the kind of need that watches with big loving eyes, eyes that are able to contemplate and consider yeses and nos and maybes and sort ofs

... and in all this, the coercive, the shame, the feeling that I "shouldn't be here", the constant urge to give my housemates money to make it ok for me to be here, to balance life's books in some way, the fear that I am in the way of bigger and better and more important activities that should take place in the room, that this room should somehow be not a cocoon, but a butterfly in flight, that I should turn myself inside out and fly away, rather than be percolating in the deep, the still, the inside.

I am learning how to ask, fearlessly. What a gift to the world my asking is!