Step out of fairness culture: You can be happy that Jess Allen didn't get fired even if you wish Cherry hadn't

You were offended that Cherry got fired for speaking freely.

Then you were offended that Jess Allen didn't.

When you have that reaction, you are using a "fairness and punishment is more important than a value" framework.

If you, who were offended by Cherry's firing, were acting in a values-based manner, you would support Allen's not being fired. If you were truly valuing free speech, you  would say, well, at least some people aren't being fired - let's have more of that. Keep Allen and bring Cherry back.

However, by focusing on firing Allen out of the need for fairness, you are acting against your own original argument in favour of free speech.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think this is because you are inconsistent. I think it is because the human mind is easily prompted towards fairness/consistency over getting what is actually wanted. It's a natural response.

And that urge comes from the fear of having power taken away.

 By saying Allen should be fired when you didn't want Cherry fired, what I'm hearing is "I am afraid that the things I believe will no longer be allowed to be said. If you are going to tell me that I can't hear my own values spoken, then you should also not speak your own values." And on the surface, that sounds like a really cogent argument.

But underneath, it reminds me of myself, when I was a child, when I would rather see everyone punished, including myself, than see one child "get away with it." Once we're in that mode, we're now operating in a system where no one gets what they want.

I know it is scary to feel that if you don't push for "fairness", then you'll get stomped on. But if you push for it, against your own interests, we're all going to lose.

One of the hardest, most adult things to do is step out of fairness culture and into solution culture.

If you feel tempted to respond to this with - "but THOSE OTHER PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE should do this too! They aren't doing it so why should I?" I invite you, again, to step out of fairness culture into solution culture.

What do you want? How will you work for it?