You were offended that Cherry got fired for speaking freely.
Then you were offended that Jess Allen didn't.
When you have that reaction, you are using a "fairness and punishment is more important than a value" framework.
If you, who were offended by Cherry's firing, were acting in a values-based manner, you would support Allen's not being fired. If you were truly valuing free speech, you would say, well, at least some people aren't being fired - let's have more of that. Keep Allen and bring Cherry back.
However, by focusing on firing Allen out of the need for fairness, you are acting against your own original argument in favour of free speech.
Don't get me wrong. I don't think this is because you are inconsistent. I think it is because the human mind is easily prompted towards fairness/consistency over getting what is actually wanted. It's a natural response.
And that urge comes from the fear of having power taken away.
By saying Allen should be fired when you didn't want Cherry fired, what I'm hearing is "I am afraid that the things I believe will no longer be allowed to be said. If you are going to tell me that I can't hear my own values spoken, then you should also not speak your own values." And on the surface, that sounds like a really cogent argument.
But underneath, it reminds me of myself, when I was a child, when I would rather see everyone punished, including myself, than see one child "get away with it." Once we're in that mode, we're now operating in a system where no one gets what they want.
I know it is scary to feel that if you don't push for "fairness", then you'll get stomped on. But if you push for it, against your own interests, we're all going to lose.
One of the hardest, most adult things to do is step out of fairness culture and into solution culture.
If you feel tempted to respond to this with - "but THOSE OTHER PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE should do this too! They aren't doing it so why should I?" I invite you, again, to step out of fairness culture into solution culture.
What do you want? How will you work for it?
Friday, November 15, 2019
Saturday, November 2, 2019
My moment of Buttigieg fangirling leads to Trump voting insight
Last year there was a period of time I was very into Pete Buttigieg. My Google news algorithm still thinks so, since it's still sending me a lot of Buttigeig content, and I still very often click on that content. I've learned a few things since Buttigieg started campaigning that make me more ambivalent towards him - he's rather conservative in some ways, has a less than awesome relationship with the Black community, and clearly Warren is a candidate more aligned with my values.
Those early days of Buttigieg fan-girling - his youth. His open queerness. His seeming progressiveness. Yet he's white, male and comes from "the people." He's downhome. Maybe he will end the polarization by being a gay mid-Westerner.
Pete Buttigieg is going to save the world!
Mm, probably not. I'm not even going to provide links here - if you type "Pete Buttigeig is not actually that progressive" into Google, you can find out for yourself, if you don't already know. This article isn't about my disappointment with Buttigieg, though. Not by a long shot. Unfortunately, it's about the fact that -
I still really like Buttigieg and this morning I found myself thinking, "I'd like to see him elected, even if he does bad stuff. I don't care, I'm curious! He's so charming. I like him so much, I just want to see more of him! Buttieg 2020!"
And, with that passing thought while scrolling my phone on an early Saturday morning, I have developed previously un-accessed insight into Trump voters.
I thought, in classic left-wing hubris, that I was immune to voting by ethos, not logos. I am different, I thought to myself, than those American idiots. I have better values AND I know how to vote with a clear mind, rather than the heart of fan.
Apparently not 100%. Although I pretty quickly shook my head and said, uh, no, Warren please, I am reminded that you can even dislike a leader's platform and still just feel compelled by them - just want to keep experiencing them, feel curious about what they will do, just want to be around them, want them to pay attention to you and love you and be in charge.
Like dating someone who is clearly not great for you, but being so charmed and attracted that you don't care.
What a deluded state of mind that is, but very human, with many examples in history and literature. It caused me to realize that not all Trump voters are stupid racists - most of them probably aren't - but that there is an aspect of charm and curiousity and being tired of the status quo that makes people excited for personality, especially if that personality comes with the promise of change and novelty.
Obviously you need to have SOME values alignment. I love that Buttigieg is young, gay and rural. I love the idea of how that might depolarize things a bit and I like some of his policies. Not enough to want him, really, to be President, but enough to think, huh, if he was, that'd be interesting.
And if I was facing a vote situation where the only other candidate was someone I'd been taught to, or authentically, had no alignment with, and I felt that Buttigieg was the only candidate who even approached aligning with my values, then I'd likely vote for Buttigieg with enthusiasm and when called an idiot for doing so, just liked Buttigieg all the more (because at least he and his supporters weren't calling me an idiot). And shut my eyes to anything wrong he did, because it was too late and anyways, it didn't effect me that much and it was depressing and it was more fun to just pay attention to the great and powerful object of my affection.*
Again. Like dating the high school hero and overlooking that they were a bully, because at least you felt powerful and oh, they are so cute and fun when they like you.
Voting from ethos is stupid*. I feel very confident saying that. It's a dumb idea. Don't do it, and don't date people who are charming bullies that don't have your best interests at heart.
But don't judge other people for doing it like you're immune to it. At least I won't be.
PS: I'm not really surprised this happened. What I liked about Buttigieg WAS his ethos - that folks would overlook his progressive values and vote for his midWestern charm and then we'd have some real social progressive stuff happen in the US. Presto: depolarization! Turns out that he was not quite so progressive but the ethos is still working a bit on me, in the other direction, pulling me towards the right. Lol.
PPS: I can't vote in the US anyways. Sometimes we forget that in Canada.
*I'm not saying that I think Buttigieg and Trump are alike in values or even capacity. But they both have a strong ethos, attractive to the type who will be attracted to them.
Those early days of Buttigieg fan-girling - his youth. His open queerness. His seeming progressiveness. Yet he's white, male and comes from "the people." He's downhome. Maybe he will end the polarization by being a gay mid-Westerner.
Pete Buttigieg is going to save the world!
Mm, probably not. I'm not even going to provide links here - if you type "Pete Buttigeig is not actually that progressive" into Google, you can find out for yourself, if you don't already know. This article isn't about my disappointment with Buttigieg, though. Not by a long shot. Unfortunately, it's about the fact that -
I still really like Buttigieg and this morning I found myself thinking, "I'd like to see him elected, even if he does bad stuff. I don't care, I'm curious! He's so charming. I like him so much, I just want to see more of him! Buttieg 2020!"
And, with that passing thought while scrolling my phone on an early Saturday morning, I have developed previously un-accessed insight into Trump voters.
I thought, in classic left-wing hubris, that I was immune to voting by ethos, not logos. I am different, I thought to myself, than those American idiots. I have better values AND I know how to vote with a clear mind, rather than the heart of fan.
Apparently not 100%. Although I pretty quickly shook my head and said, uh, no, Warren please, I am reminded that you can even dislike a leader's platform and still just feel compelled by them - just want to keep experiencing them, feel curious about what they will do, just want to be around them, want them to pay attention to you and love you and be in charge.
Like dating someone who is clearly not great for you, but being so charmed and attracted that you don't care.
What a deluded state of mind that is, but very human, with many examples in history and literature. It caused me to realize that not all Trump voters are stupid racists - most of them probably aren't - but that there is an aspect of charm and curiousity and being tired of the status quo that makes people excited for personality, especially if that personality comes with the promise of change and novelty.
Obviously you need to have SOME values alignment. I love that Buttigieg is young, gay and rural. I love the idea of how that might depolarize things a bit and I like some of his policies. Not enough to want him, really, to be President, but enough to think, huh, if he was, that'd be interesting.
And if I was facing a vote situation where the only other candidate was someone I'd been taught to, or authentically, had no alignment with, and I felt that Buttigieg was the only candidate who even approached aligning with my values, then I'd likely vote for Buttigieg with enthusiasm and when called an idiot for doing so, just liked Buttigieg all the more (because at least he and his supporters weren't calling me an idiot). And shut my eyes to anything wrong he did, because it was too late and anyways, it didn't effect me that much and it was depressing and it was more fun to just pay attention to the great and powerful object of my affection.*
Again. Like dating the high school hero and overlooking that they were a bully, because at least you felt powerful and oh, they are so cute and fun when they like you.
Voting from ethos is stupid*. I feel very confident saying that. It's a dumb idea. Don't do it, and don't date people who are charming bullies that don't have your best interests at heart.
But don't judge other people for doing it like you're immune to it. At least I won't be.
PS: I'm not really surprised this happened. What I liked about Buttigieg WAS his ethos - that folks would overlook his progressive values and vote for his midWestern charm and then we'd have some real social progressive stuff happen in the US. Presto: depolarization! Turns out that he was not quite so progressive but the ethos is still working a bit on me, in the other direction, pulling me towards the right. Lol.
PPS: I can't vote in the US anyways. Sometimes we forget that in Canada.
*I'm not saying that I think Buttigieg and Trump are alike in values or even capacity. But they both have a strong ethos, attractive to the type who will be attracted to them.
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